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- Good vs bad 1-1s
Howdy Girdleyworld!
Today it’s a greatest hit, but one that’s always worth a refresher:
How to run great 1-1s
Let’s do it!
A hill I’ll die on:
Unless you do regular 1-1s with your employees, you are not a great manager.
But just holding 1-1s doesn’t make you great. You have to do them right.
In my career I’ve had good and bad managers. I’ve also been a good and a bad manager at different times.
I learned from it all. So here you go:
11 things good managers do that bad managers don’t in 1-on-1's
✅GOOD MANAGERS focus 1-1 meetings on the most critical items on the report’s mind. They ask questions, probe, and coach.
❌BAD MANAGERS think 1-1 meetings are “more is always better." They focus on surface stuff but avoid real issues.
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✅GOOD MANAGERS encourage reports to cancel 1-1 meetings sometimes. Best to focus on the mission.
❌BAD MANAGERS want employees in their office kissing the ring. They focus on activities rather than results.
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✅GOOD MANAGERs make the 1-1 meeting the EMPLOYEE’s meeting. The manager focuses on helping the employee achieve their mission.
❌BAD MANAGERS make the 1-1 meeting about themselves, gossip, set the agenda, and do all the talking.
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✅GOOD MANAGERS shut out distractions and give 100% of their attention during 1-1s.
❌BAD MANAGERS repeatedly glance at their phones or email during the 1-1. Some do other work or take calls, showing what they really think of the report.
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✅GOOD MANAGERS mix up the 1-1 meetings by making them sometimes walking meetings, in-person, or even voice-only phone calls.
❌BAD MANAGERS insist that reports come to their office or Zoom and sit at attention.
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✅GOOD MANAGERS know 1-1 meetings aren’t all about business. They care about what’s going on in and out of the office for employees.
❌BAD MANAGERS only talk about the mission. They say, "Leave your feelings and ambitions at home! And no fun!"
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✅GOOD MANAGERS take notes. They remember details for follow-ups and the next 1-1. This shows care for the employee.
❌BAD MANAGERS say “Send me this or that from this meeting." They forget what they hear week after week.
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✅GOOD MANAGERS prioritize 1-1 meetings as standing meetings. They know Tuesdays or Monday afternoons are best, so people are fresh.
❌BAD MANAGERS make an employee stumble into their office on Friday (before lunch) to report what they did for them this week.
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✅GOOD MANAGERS ask open-ended questions in 1-1s like “What’s on your mind?” and “What could be going better?” They look for what's not being said and try to help.
❌BAD MANAGERS worry about unimportant details or company politics and forget the big picture in 1-1s.
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✅GOOD MANAGERS celebrate wins in 1-1s. They know that reports are working hard and benefit from acknowledgment.
❌BAD MANAGERS never say “Nice work!” or "Thanks!" They don’t build the trust needed when it’s time for honest criticism.
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✅GOOD MANAGERS make time in 1-1s to talk about the work: Are you happy here? What are your dreams or ambitions? How can I help?
❌BAD MANAGERS hope that not talking about growth, salary, or even finding another job will make those things disappear.
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One final thing: I like to give my new hires one-pager guide to 1-1s with me. It tells them what to expect, and shares what I’m expecting.
If you’ve got any suggestions or improvements, I’d love to hear them!
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3 things from this week
Appetizer: I was on my pal Sieva’s podcast this week — here’s what we talked about. Give it a watch!
Main: Want another take on 1-on-1s? Check out what my buddy Dave Kline uses with all his managers. You can download & customize his template here (the download link is below the subscribe form halfway down).
Dessert: My 60-second story about the crazy ad that made Patagonia billions.
Have a great week!
Michael
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